I am a superhero. That’s what I say every morning, when my son kisses my head, a feeling of glory. I’m a Queen, a tornado, an unstoppable force, with endless motivation – keep running life’s course. Doing more than just sitting in the clouds of my dreams, even though I’m not sure exactly what they mean. Pushing it forward – another place and time, a place that parades ‘success’ in my mind.
This place isn’t so bad, just not ideal within my head. What is the ideal? Not asleep, depressed in my bed. I want a house without rules like, “No, you can’t paint here.” A front yard and a backyard, with smells of pancakes and cookout beers. A tree with a swing, and a fort for the kids. I want a career that feeds our bellies, lacking all killer additives – replace the preservatives with expensive, fruitful feedings – beat cancer and alzheimer’s and crohn’s before aspartame takes us all along with it.
I want a school system that gives my children room for growth, lets them apply their creativity – puts it on show. I want standardized testing to fall through the cracks so our teacher’s can freely do their own task. I want what’s best for my children – their own pace respected – socially unmocked for being different – off course – rejected. Tell them they’re bright, let the stars shine through their being – special in their own right, all passions being heeded. A school that doesn’t make the montone maddening – but a place that holds standards of their individuality.
I don’t want a career that financially makes me happy. I want to apply my happiness into a career so I’ll never go napping. I’ll take what I love – turn it into something green, even if it’s just a faded mint in the beginning. A passionate interest keeping me on the go – Not a selfish, hopeless wish but a constantly moving reason to wake up and roam. My kids will see their mother doing what she loves – see her prosper as she chooses, a vanishing sense of ever losing. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll end up doing the same. That’s what I want more than anything.
I want to tell other women in less fortunate places, where I’ve been before and can relate to the phases: cynicism, regret, an insecure fate. Give love to the wounds that were created by hate. Know that time is not a barrier, not a social status either. You’re amazing, a survivor, a limitless leader. Say, “I am a superhero, a queen, an unstoppable force – running through the phases of life’s troubling fast pace course.”