Me Too

When I hadn’t even hit puberty and you said, “She’s gonna be trouble…” “Better get a shotgun.” “Don’t you wish you had a boy?”

When I had in school suspension because my spaghetti straps distracted you.

When you were the construction worker I avoided on the dog walk at 12.

When I had to hop a stranger’s fence on the walk home from school because you drove your truck by for the fourth time.

When I went to dinner with you and I didn’t want to put out (still interested in a second date) but you dropped, “You’re only 19. You really think I’m gonna take you seriously?” and kicked me out of your car.

When you were my boss and called me a “Bitch” because I walked out from all your sexual harrassment.

When you called me a slut for making my own choices.

When you were the dishwasher and smacked my ass in front of customers.

When you said “I love you” after three weeks of dating and that gave you enititlement to my body.

When I caught you cheating and I ended up in the hospital. When I had to take a two year medical leave from school after what you did because I wasn’t okay. When the court settled with your plea. When you didn’t abide by the restraining order. When they didn’t believe me. When they asked how I got myself into that situation in the first place. When I drank you. When you saw me at the Zoo and locked eyes with my son. When I still learned to somehow forgive you.

When I saw you holding her car keys against her will.

When I had to put my sweater on her because her shoulder skin gave you permission to follow her.

When you said I didn’t look like I had two kids.

When you called me a, “100% bonafide milf” and I didn’t take it as a compliment.

When I had two sons and feared they would somehow learn from you.

When I age and know you’re still around, that I’m not the only one you’re crossing, that self defense classes are needed (not suggested) and that no matter where I go, there you’ll be in different forms… and somehow, I will still overcome you.

Me too.

Graduate

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Graduation, May 2015 from Buffalo State College.  Picture taken: Delaware Park(Hoyt Lake) or better known as the place I played a lot of frisbee throughout my college years and hula hooped my baby fat into its hills,  watched Shakespeare in the summer drunk on Carlo Rossi, a sharp cheddar and Zettis freshly baked bread.  I lingered late at night on an abandoned stage with a buzz and a few friends, cruised through its cherry blossoms on a midnight bike pedal, and slept under her big willows at noon stuffed on picnic jello.  I’ve raised my son a block away, taken him where he’s learned to climb hollow, plastic mountains all while making friends.  Seven years not too long, I am a graduate today.  A bachelor in the Arts, I grew up here with Frank Lloyd Wright himself, on the steps of Albright Knox, yes, Picasso was my neighbor.  I did it with a two year old on my side and a belly like a bubble, five months pregnant.  Maybe it’s my surroundings but it feels too much like art.  I am a graduate today.

Queen City Kait